Guest blog written by Delvin Shnyvuu*
In an effort to reduce my stress level, I’ve decided to spread out the burden. Congratulations on being chosen to partake!
Every day I’m bombarded by news of another psychotic nutjob that has been elevated into some position of authority that I’m supposed to submit to. And at every turn the media (newspapers, t.v anchors, magazines, movies, sitcoms, scholastic institutions, and most radio) continue chanting the mantra 24/7 – as if someday the brainwashing will take and convince me that I’m the insane one, and finally submit, and accept the blissful enslavement of the delusional mob and start chanting along with them.
My stress comes from the daily reading/ seeing/ hearing of stories that I imagine should be newsworthy only for the unhinged derangement of those involved. So here’s Part #1:
The city of Portland, OR will empty a 38-million gallon reservoir after a teenager allegedly urinated in it, according to the associated press. It’s the second time in three years that Portland is flushing its Mount Tabor reservoir after a urine-related incident.
The reservoir is open-air and sits exposed to all of nature, leading many parties to question how necessary a draining would be, or how polluted 38 million gallons of water can really be by a single man’s urine.
David Shaff, Portland’s water bureau administrator, reserves a special disgust specifically for human urine. In 2011, when Shaff drained the reservoir following a urination, he reasoned to the Portland Mercury, “Do you want to be drinking someone’s pee?… There’s probably no regulation that says I have to be doing it but, again, who wants to be drinking pee?” This time around, Shaff wrote in a statement, “Our customers have an expectation that their water is not deliberately contaminated.”
Update: According to the Huffington Post, the 35 million gallons “have been diverted… to an empty reservoir to determine how long its quality can last as a public water feature… “We’re going to be monitoring it and see how long it stays fresh and clear,” Portland Water Bureau spokeswoman Jaymee Cuti said.”
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent